WEEKLY – ERR, ANNUAL RANT BY THE AFFILIATE SLAYER: CHRIS KAUTZ

Welcome Back Bitches

 

“Welcome back Bitches. “ That is the formal greeting I make to my millions of fans who have read my POS rants earlier this year on RickyAhuja.com.  Since it has been a matter a months from the last post, I know your lives have felt empty and incomplete.  For this I will apologize, but that might be the only apology for 2011 coming from me.  Sorry for not blessing you with presence for a bit.  Of course there are many apologies to my wife on a somewhat consistent basis don’t count as I am a guy with insertfootinmouthitis syndrome.   There is no cure.  For you geniuses out there I don’t literally put my foot into my mouth and pretend to be a gymnast, although my 7month old son seems to dig the taste of his feet.  Speaking of RickyAhuja.com, “Rick, Welcome back.   If you would increase my fee payout of $5k to $10k per month for writing bad rants on you blog, perhaps I will write more rants, like 1 per month that are higher quality.   Wow that is like a bad email cpm deal with promised quality.   Ok my tangent is done at least for this paragraph.

Anyway ASW is right around corner, and yes ladies and gentlemen, and RoadSmack, I will be attending along with the rest of awesome AVG team.   So here are the Top 10 reasons to sit at a nice bar near the booth as opposed to walking the Floor.

1)       I am lazy and like to sit on my ass

2)      I didn’t buy credentials

3)      I am a wuss and don’t want my feet to hurt

4)      I don’t want to press replay on what exactly I do over and over again

5)      I feel more comfortable at a bar.  Booze anybody?

6)      I don’t want to speak to overly moronic enthusiastic rookie AM’s/ Booth Babes, Been there done that

7)      Ah I don’t want to feel old as there a large majority of younger folks on the floor.  Rick you must feel even older

8)      I prefer an informal setting like a bar

9)      “Here is a prepaid card to pay your affiliates……..ugh”

10)   When I meet with somebody to discuss biz, I want them to remember me, whether it is a preset meeting.  Nothing worse than following up with people who have no clue who you are.   I would rather be known as that guy in the bar, that told a few random jokes, but knew his $H$#

Anyway don’t get me wrong I dig the Affiliate Summit, and AVG will be there at table 32 of the Meet Market.   But you will see me in a bar at some point just shootin’ it not necessarily just about biz.    There you have it the Top 10 Reasons to sit at a bar vs. walking the floor at a tradeshow.   Minions, please feel free to add your own in the comment section, disagree, or insult my reasons.

 

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About the Author

Ricky

Ricky Ahuja is the serving as the VP of Marketing for ClickSyndicate.com and provides strategic corporate and functional marketing consulting services to early stage companies.

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