Tag Archives: ASW

  • Top 10 Things I learned at Affiliate Summit

    WEEKLY – ERR, ANNUAL RANT BY THE AFFILIATE SLAYER: CHRIS KAUTZ

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    Welcome Back Bitches

     

    “Welcome back Bitches. “ That is the formal greeting I make to my millions of fans who have read my POS rants earlier this year on RickyAhuja.com.  Since it has been a matter a months from the last post, I know your lives have felt empty and incomplete.  For this I will apologize, but that might be the only apology for 2011 coming from me.  Sorry for not blessing you with presence for a bit.  Of course there are many apologies to my wife on a somewhat consistent basis don’t count as I am a guy with insertfootinmouthitis syndrome.   There is no cure.  For you geniuses out there I don’t literally put my foot into my mouth and pretend to be a gymnast, although my 7month old son seems to dig the taste of his feet.  Speaking of RickyAhuja.com, “Rick, Welcome back.   If you would increase my fee payout of $5k to $10k per month for writing bad rants on you blog, perhaps I will write more rants, like 1 per month that are higher quality.   Wow that is like a bad email cpm deal with promised quality.   Ok my tangent is done at least for this paragraph.

    Anyway ASW is right around corner, and yes ladies and gentlemen, and RoadSmack, I will be attending along with the rest of awesome AVG team.   So here are the Top 10 reasons to sit at a nice bar near the booth as opposed to walking the Floor.

    1)       I am lazy and like to sit on my ass

    2)      I didn’t buy credentials

    3)      I am a wuss and don’t want my feet to hurt

    4)      I don’t want to press replay on what exactly I do over and over again

    5)      I feel more comfortable at a bar.  Booze anybody?

    6)      I don’t want to speak to overly moronic enthusiastic rookie AM’s/ Booth Babes, Been there done that

    7)      Ah I don’t want to feel old as there a large majority of younger folks on the floor.  Rick you must feel even older

    8)      I prefer an informal setting like a bar

    9)      “Here is a prepaid card …read more