Tag Archives: Weekly Rant

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    Weekly Rant by the Affiliate Slayer-Part 2 : Chris Kautz

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    Wow should we make it 2 weeks in a row?  Should I check my pulse for consistency as I have been on hiatus/sabbatical?  A newborn and a recovering wife will make one forget about rants,   although they can provide certain motivations for onesJ    My wife and I share many similarities, but I think like most happily married couples our choices in TV differ greatly.   She likes Bachelorette, Dancing w/ the Stars, Glee, and let’s just say I don’t.    In terms of her daily tv programming she also likes the pathetic local channel 12 news and ET. For those of you who aren’t familiar with ET, it stands for Entertainment Tonight.Problem is, it isn’t that entertaining, so it’s new name should be called “Junk Tonight.”  And there it is ladies and gentlemen, part of my motivation for this rant- ET and the morons that appear on it.   So mark the tape, etch in stone,  send out smoke signals, draw a picture,  this is a rant about ET and the Osmonds appearing on it constantly, and other things about ET that drive me up a wall.

    The Osmonds are a “has been music family” that somehow became famous.   I really don’t want to know how they did as that would be time I could never get back and a waste of energy to even discuss.   From my perspective it’s like they are famous for being famous these days.    They always seem to appear on ET for whatever reason.  ET must feel sorry for them.    They are like the Kardashian’s of yester year, aside from a surgically enhanced ass and other body parts they are all hype.  Last time I checked, getting plastic surgery and being the daughter of a famous lawyer isn’t a talent or an ability.  Your 15 mins are up, time is a tickin.

    I know what your 67k fans are asking yourself, and I would be too, if you despise ET so much, you seem to watch it a lot?   Well if you paid attention in the first paragraph, I said I had a newborn and a wife recovering from …read more

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    Weekly Rant by the Affiliate Slayer: Chris Kautz

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    HOV is Fcuked!

    Can it be?  The slayer is back to generate rants and other lines of BS?   Well sort of.  I am back for this rant at least which is 67 times better than your life feeling incomplete without one of my rants.    Anyway as I was driving up I-95 to one of my multi milling dollar power lunches, I suddenly felt inspired to rant about the HOV lane.   So what does the HOV lane have to do with online marketing?   Perhaps nothing, perhaps everything.    It’s too soon to tell as this is a rant not a college essay which has cites, research, and other elements that add structural integrity, but rather a POS that doesn’t suck too much.    I am setting the bar low to manage expectations.

    So what does HOV stand for?  High Occupancy Vehicle.   WTF does that mean?  A smart car that holds people or a 15 passenger van?   From my limited understanding, HOV is to encourage commuters to carpool.   Well “F” that encouragement since their “encouragement” seems to cost more money to enforce and construct roads systems around HOV lanes.

    Ok back to the topic at hand, why HOV lanes suck.    On I-95 in Virginia, the HOV lane begins about 20-30 mi south of the Beltway.   For those of you who don’t know what area that is, too bad, tough cookies, get a computer and look it up on Google maps. .  The HOV lane set up is 2 lanes going up the median of both the north and southbound lanes.  In the morning it is open to traffic going and in the afternoon it is open to traffic going south.    Seems straightforward right, except that morons who plan highways and budgets could have added 2 lanes going in either direction judging by all of the additional infrastructure required with the exits from the north and southbound lanes, additional signs etc.   Also the shoulders are very wide on the north and southbound lanes.

    I remember up near Hartford CT, they make the HOV lane 2 lanes wide to provide more separation from the schmucks driving without a …read more